Editor’s note: The following is a guest post by Ben Stein. Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu.
Like the distinguished public servant Dominique Strauss-Kahn, I am a friend to all women, even the ones who didn’t fully appreciate my American Spectator column on the scurrilous charges filed against the former IMF chief. I’d like to extend an olive branch to those misguided members of the fairer sex by sharing some advice on the proper way to go about getting raped if you expect public intellectuals to take your charges seriously.
Ladies, my humble thoughts:
1.) Ensure that your rapist has a criminal history.
Should you find yourself being raped by a man with a long history of sexual abuse, take a moment to perform a criminal background check. This can be done with most modern smartphones as long as your hands are free.
No criminal record? In all likelihood, his sexually violent past is mere gossip and he is not a threat. You are engaged in a consensual sex act. Carry on.
2.) Find out your rapist’s profession.
Is your rapist an economist? If so, you are not being raped. As I asked in my last column, “Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes? Can anyone tell me of any heads of nonprofit international economic entities who have ever been charged and convicted of violent sexual crimes?”
As an economist, I can personally attest to the fact that economists do not rape. In fact, if I were to slip on a ski mask and surprise you in the dark alley by my house that I happen to know is rarely patrolled by police, rest assured, you’d be completely safe in my gloved hands.
3.) Choose a tall, muscular rapist with a weapon.
An unarmed fat man over the age of 50 cannot rape. Sure, some will try, but it beggars belief to suggest a gentleman like Dominique Strauss-Kahn could succeed at orally raping a feisty young chambermaid.
If you intend to report a rape, ensure that the perpetrator is armed with a knife or gun. He should also be fairly young and strikingly tall with lean, powerful muscles and rock hard abs. If he is short and pudgy, it is likely that you have consented to sex.
4.) Your rapist must not have travel plans.
Do not bother reporting your “rapist” unless his intention is to remain within the general vicinity of your encounter. If he has booked a flight scheduled to take off just a few hours after your tryst, his alibi is nearly unimpeachable. It is doubtful that you have been raped.
5.) Ensure that your rapist is no one noteworthy.
Accomplished men with recognizable faces–men like me–do not deserve to be treated like common criminals when a mere pleb makes allegations of sexual misconduct. Generally speaking, the allegations should not be made at all when men of great import are involved. Take a moment to consider whether you’re misinterpreting a consensual rendezvous as something more unsavory.
6.) Be an economist.
If you intend to be raped, make certain you are a professional working in a field populated exclusively by people of unassailable character and credibility. Housekeeping is not such a field. As I explained earlier this week, “I have had hotel maids that were complete lunatics, stealing airline tickets from me, stealing money from me, throwing away important papers, stealing medications from me.”
Play it safe and study to become an economist.
Editor’s note: GFY, Ben Stein.
Joan Walsh is nothing if not predictable and super tiring. Oh yeah, and totally racist. Her true racist colors showed once again in her latest article at Salon. The article was meant to attack Newt Gingrich for a statement he made on Meet The Press, which further goes to show what an absolute oaf Walsh is. There are plenty of valid and honest reasons to question statements made by Newt. As Big Journalism points out, this is not one of them:
You want to be a country that creates food stamps, in which case frankly Obama’s is an enormous success. The most successful food stamp president in American history. Or do you want to be a country that creates paychecks?
David Gregory questioned Newt about the “racial overtones” of that statement on Meet The Press, so I suppose we can blame him for getting the absurd ball rolling. But good old Joan leaped right into the mix:
Newt Gingrich and “the food stamp president”
He didn’t call Obama a “strapping young buck,” but his slur is coded racism (and not very Catholic) just the same
Newt Gingrich doubled down on his clever new slur against President Obama as “the food stamp president.” He tried the line in a Friday speech to the Georgia Republican convention, and he used it again on “Meet the Press Sunday.”
But when host David Gregory suggested the term had racial overtones, Gingrich replied “That’s bizarre,” and added, “I have never said anything about President Obama which is racist.” That’s not quite as extreme or silly as Donald Trump declaring “I am the least racist person there is,” but it’s up there.
Get it? He said food stamps! That is some hidden “code” word for black people. Because everyone on food stamps is black, even though that is the complete opposite of true.
Gee, Joan, what do you call it when someone automatically assumes everyone on food stamps is black? Or, that anything – ever – said in response to the actions of President Obama must somehow be racist? See, I think that is, in fact, actually racist.
Wrong. I never imagined the outbreak of right-wing crazy that Obama’s gesture would provoke, and this time it’s hard not to see racism behind the hysteria. The message is “Obama’s coming for our children!” the standard cry against scary boogeymen in every culture. I mean, really, what besides Obama’s race could make him so scary to these people? That he’s a Marxist socialist fascist Nazi? I’d argue that the only reason those extreme epithets have taken hold goes back to reason No. 1: Our first black president is provoking some outsize and irrational reactions.
Why? Because it is she who is the one who only sees color. She also believes that President Obama is the Daddy In Chief, but that’s a whole separate issue; I don’t really care to delve into Walsh’s fantasy life.
While the Left incessantly tries to paint nearly everyone (except good lock-step Lefties and grievance mongers) as racist, it is actually a case of projection. See, once again, the people constantly hurling the “Racist!” slur at others are the people who only see color. What is that called, huh, Joan? Perhaps you need to give yourself a Teachable Moment ™ and go back and read the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who wished that y’all would stop looking at skin color and instead look at content of character. You can start with examining your own.
Bless your heart, Joan Walsh. Excuse me, I mean “Bless your racist heart.”
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, managing director of the International Monetary Fund, will be arraigned Sunday after a maid told police he sexually assaulted her in New York’s Sofitel Hotel. Charges include “a criminal sex act, attempted rape and unlawful imprisonment.”
As far as I can tell, George W. Bush had nothing to do with the alleged crime. So why did the New York Post run this photo with its report?
On Twitter, @JustA907Girl wonders why the Post didn’t use this more recent photo of Strauss-Kahn, a member of the French Socialist Party who is expected to challenge French President Nicolas Sarkozy in the 2012 presidential elections.
I’d prefer a pic of Port Authority detectives yanking the scumbag off his Paris-bound flight to haul his ass down to SVU, but I’m picky like that.
First they came for kitteh’s cigarette, but I was not a kitteh …
Via The Daily What.
Four Afghan women have achieved something that would have been unimaginable a decade ago: they are training alongside male recruits to become pilots in the Afghan Air Force. Amidst headlines about poverty, illiteracy, and breathtaking levels of violence against women, their accomplishments are beyond heartening.
Second Lt. Sourya Saleh hopes to serve as a role model for other Afghan women after completing her aviation training in the United States.
“We are very happy to be going to open these doors for the other women to come and join the military, to show them you can do this and make our country proud,” she said. “We want for all Afghan girls to know they can do anything.”
Another newly minted officer, Second Lt. Mary Sharifzada, told the Air Force Times that becoming a pilot has been her dream since she was a little girl:
“I want to show the people of Afghanistan that women are strong,” Sharifzada said. “We want to show the people of the world that the women of Afghanistan are strong and they can do anything they want.”
“They said I’m as brave as a man,” said Second Lt. Masooma Hussaini.
As brave as men, and according to Lt. Col. John Howard of the Thunder Lab training program, as capable as their male counterparts. But these women and future recruits may not get the chance to prove “they can do anything they want” if the United States selects Brazilian aircraft manufacturer Embraer to supply turboprop planes for the counterinsurgency effort in Afghanistan.
In the April 2011 issue of Smart Girl Nation, my friend Ashley Sewell explains how the Brazilian plane would bar skilled female pilots from flying Light Air Support (LAS) and light attack and armed reconnaissance (LAAR) missions:
The front-runners are the American-made Hawker Beechcraft AT-6 (a plane like the T-6 training aircraft that would accommodate 95% of women pilots) and the Brazilian-made Embraer EMB-314 (a plane that sticks to older standards thus eliminating the possibility of being flown by a woman).
Those older standards exclude more than 80 percent of women (and small men) from safely flying the planes that will be used to train and equip the Afghan Air Force.
There’s no question that operational performance and pilot safety should be the primary criteria in choosing between the Embraer and Hawker Beechcraft planes. But if the two aircraft perform comparably, can we afford to indulge the Commander-in-Chief‘s childish love affair with Brazil, forcing the struggling Afghan Air Force to sideline much needed talent?
That’s not the only reason the Hawker Beechcraft proposal is superior. The assembly of the Hawker Beechcraft AT-6 planes would result in an estimated 1,400 American jobs, while the Embraer proposal will create a comparatively paltry 50 assembly line positions in the U.S.
And even more compelling are the risks of contracting with a company controlled by Brazil, a country that doesn’t have especially warm and fuzzy feelings about American foreign policy. Embraer’s corporate by-laws give Brazil a controlling interest known as the “Golden Share.”
The Golden Share allows the Brazilian government to maintain direct control and veto rights over the “creation and/or alteration of military programs, whether or not involving the Federative Republic of Brazil” as well as the “interruption of the supply of maintenance and replacement parts for military aircraft.”
Next month, the Department of Defense will make its decision. Will we put the Afghan Air Force at the mercy of a foreign government that has, at times, been hostile to the War on Terror? Will President Obama exchange friendship bracelets with Brazil as he promises them even more American jobs? And will the ambitious and capable women of the Afghan Air Force be relegated to second-class status before they’re given a chance to shine?
These are the women whose dreams of flying could be crushed by the “most feminist administration ever” before they even leave the ground:
That great lefty favorite, the Peace Corps, just had a 50th birthday! You can tell, because it’s demanding presents. The Lefties who totally love conscience-salving stints in third world countries rejoiced and then swiftly returned to their soy lattes and organic arugula. Senator Harry Reid issued a breathless, sycophantic statement in which he, being Harry Reid, couldn’t resist making things up, pouting and petulantly trying to cling to funding.
“However, I’m deeply discouraged that Republicans have proposed slashing significant funding for a program that trains workers for a 21st century global economy, builds good will around the world and promotes public service. Instead of reducing the effectiveness of a highly cost-effective program, we should cut government spending in a smart, responsible way that targets waste and excess while keeping our economy growing.”
Of course, he had nothing to say in response to charges that perhaps the Peace Corps isn’t so peaceful. At least not for the women who were raped – and then blamed for being raped - during their stints in the corps. No ado was made about the House hearing on Wednesday investigating the same either, nor the legislation proposed by Congressman Poe (R-TX) that would require some Peace Corps oversight. In fact, the New York Times reported that Democrats wished to, as always, sweep such things under the rug in fear that their precious funding might be lost:
But whether such a bill would pass Congress is unclear. Representative Niki Tsongas, Democrat of Massachusetts, is co-sponsoring Mr. Poe’s bill, but other Democrats are skittish about it. They worry that the legislation, and Wednesday’s hearing, might be used to undermine the Peace Corps — the legacy of a Democratic president — and cut its funding.
Hey, what’s a little rape, with the added insult of victim blaming, as long as we keep our sweet, sweet funding? You know what I am skittish about, Democrats? Funding an organization wherein women are raped, assaulted and even murdered; 1000 women have been sexually assaulted while in the Peace Corps in the past decade alone. And 23 Peace Corps volunteers have been murdered since its creation. This isn’t new, either. Peace Corps volunteer Deborah Gardner lost her life in Tonga in 1976.
Deborah Gardner was murdered by fellow Peace Corps worker Dennis Priven, who turned himself in. After stabbing her – 22 times – to death. The Peace Corps reaction? Try to cover it up:
“Even after everyone knew it was Dennis, already that effort by the Peace Corps to put the blame somewhere else. And to make things go away,” says Weiss. “That impulse has seized the Peace Corps within moments of Deb’s death.”
As revolting as that is, they went one further. The Peace Corps hired, and paid for, the best defense attorney available in Tonga. Priven was found not guilty and the Peace Corps quietly shuffled him back to the United States. Where he lived freely, for decades. Working for the government. No, really:
Weiss says Priven has led a small, anonymous life since then. He’s divorced, and he recently retired after working for decades for the U.S. government.
“Twelve years after Deb’s death, he was working for Social Security,” says Weiss. “And ultimately was their top computer guy in the Brooklyn office.
Kate Puzey was 24 years old when she was brutally murdered, her throat slit, while working for the Peace Corps in 2009. Her concerns about a fellow employee were ignored, and then the subject of an attempted cover-up after her death.
Jessica Smochek was gang-raped in Bangladesh in 2004. This is how the Peace Corps gave her aid afterward; not only medical malpractice, but they blamed her. For being gang-raped (emphasis mine):
Peace Corps medical officer refused to give her a proper physical examination. Instead, the medic confiscated the former English teacher’s cellphone so that she could not alert her fellow volunteers and instructed her to tell anyone who asked about her sudden departure from the program that she was returning to the U.S. to get her wisdom teeth out. When Smochek arrived in Washington, D.C., a Peace Corps official asked her to write down everything she had done to provoke the attack.
“Shortly after I left, the country director — who never attempted to contact me after I was raped — called a meeting of several women in my former volunteer group and told them, without my permission, what had happened to me,” she said. “Then, he told them that rape was a woman’s fault and that I had caused what happened to me by being out alone after 5:00 PM. As for the other women in the group, who had been very vocal about being constantly stalked and afraid, he threatened them with administrative separation.”
Jessica was one of the courageous women who testified before Congress on Wednesday. You know, that same Congress that contains members more concerned with loss of funding than the actual women, and the violent crimes committed against them, themselves.
Commentary Magazine asks “where are the feminists?” While the hypocrisy is, as always, staggering, that’s not a question I’d bother asking. Who cares where they are? It’s clear that “feminists”, and Democrats, are not For The Women ™ and they have never been. From their embracing of Obamacare, which harms women, to their frantic scurrying to cover up the exploitation of young girls by Planned Parenthood, it is painfully apparent that the end justifies the means to them. Agendas and liberal programs mean all; actual women mean nothing. And, as always, feminist groups do not speak for women, nor should we expect nor want them to. Ever.
The question that should be asked is why the Peace Corps is receiving $400 million in taxpayer funds a year.
Politics Daily points out the original reasoning for the creation of the Peace Corps:
In a 1986 interview, Peace Corps founding director Sargent Shriver, who was hospitalized Monday, described his organization’s raison d’être this way:
When [Gen. Augusto] Pinochet came into power a lot of Peace Corps volunteers were in Chile and they started protesting Pinochet and writing letters to newspapers. I was criticized in Washington for the actions of these volunteers. My response was that we should rejoice that we are the only country in the world that had the vision to send abroad people who are not under government control. Instead, they are independent free-standing human beings. I maintain that they are the greatest advertisement for the American system of government that there is in the world, they are worth a thousand Coca-Cola signs. There is no better advertisement for what this country stands for than an individual Peace Corps volunteer walking down the street unarmed, wearing the same clothes that the people do, eating the same food, living the same life, and being there as an independent free-standing person who believes in democracy and who is compassionate to his fellow man.
Maybe – and I’m not even convinced of this – that was all fine and dandy 40 years ago. Today, not so much. The world isn’t all unicorns and fairy dust. Moreover, this goodwill ambassadorship stuff doesn’t work, right? Doesn’t the world’s view of Americans change based on whether there is a Republican or a Democrat in the White House? I mean, that’s what we are told, over and over. The world hated us merely because, Bush. For years. And now they totally heart us again because, The One, right?
The world is a dangerous place sometimes. And sending women to places that are known dangers without adequate, or even mediocre for cripes sake, support is beyond irresponsible. Especially if the organization itself is complicit in the violence perpetrated against the women who volunteer for them. And, in fact, exacerbates the harm to the women by not only attempting to hide the crimes, but by blaming the victims. Taxpayer money should in no way be used to support violence against women, nor the revolting covering up of the same.
Looks like Barcelona won’t be hosting the next Slut Walk. The city council–supported by the socially conservative, er, I mean, Socialist mayor–recently passed a measure authorizing police to punish scantily clad men and women with hefty fines.
Anyone who walks the streets away from the beaches clad in just a bikini, trunks or a swimsuit will be liable for fines of up to €300 (£262).
Barcelona has been trying to shake off a reputation as a city where anything goes.
Ms Escarp told The Times: ‘Some people who live here are bothered by tourists who go dressed in a bikini in the street, or in swimming trunks. We have to maintain standards.’
Authorities in the city, where the port and the beach areas sit by the historic old town, earlier this year put up posters discouraging scantily clad tourists from walking the streets.
This is the actual poster distributed by the Barcelona government:
Thank goodness the pickpocket capital of the world is taking crime seriously by cracking down on the blight of bare midriffs. The proud citizens of Barcelona can finally take back the streets from the most insidious of threats: visible navels.
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
Now, I don’t know if Crow rinses and reuses or what, but the thought of her preparing food is about as appetizing as being in the audience at a GG Allin show. Unfortunately, St. Martin’s Press disagrees. Crow’s new cookbook, “If It Makes You Healthy,” popped up in my Amazon recommendations today.
Next year maybe she can publish a primer on hygiene. In the mean time, if you happen to meet Sheryl Crow, do NOT shake her hand.
I would pay to see one of the 2012 candidates put out a campaign ad like this. Grannies wearing tie-dye? Cringe-worthy lyrics and “dancing”? Horrendous production value? Sign. Me. Up.
Three words for my ruling class friends in DC: Make it happen.
Finally, Michael Moore weighs in on the death of Osama Bin Laden. In his usual bloated blithering idjit way, natch:
Dan McLaughlin was correct when he said in response:
Multi-Millionaire makes ass of self on Twitter http://bit.ly/iIx79k
The gluttonous Michael Moore suggests that *excess* (the icky capitalist kind, not the Krispy Kreme kind, of course) played a role in Osama Bin Laden masterminding evil plots of murderous rampage to kill innocents in America and around the globe – but not Islamic terrorism. You Islamaphobes!
Those CEOs getting millions in year end bonuses? It’s a miracle it hasn’t caused them to get Jihad-y and commit horrendous acts of evil.
Monetary extremism! Radical Capitalism, not Radical Islam!
I’m actually glad he pointed this out. I mean, if the dangers of multi-millionaires are that grave, we really need to have Michael Moore put on the no-fly list.
Instead of just the “required to purchase 2 seats” list.
Representative Mike Rogers is the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. Clearly, “intelligence” is a term used very loosely, as his remarks regarding the release of Bin Laden photos makes abundantly clear:
“The risks of release outweigh the benefits,” Rogers said. “Conspiracy theorists around the world will just claim the photos are doctored anyway, and there is a real risk that releasing the photos will only serve to inflame public opinion in the Middle East.”
“Imagine how the American people would react if Al Qaeda killed one of our troops or military leaders, and put photos of the body on the internet,” Rogers continued.
Oh, really Mr. Rogers? We dumb old rubes can’t control ourselves, I suppose. You are so much Better and Smarter Than Us ™. I mean, it’s not like we’ve seen thousands of American civilians killed by Jihadists. Good thing we all didn’t see pictures of innocent people on fire jumping to their own deaths, huh?
Jimmie Bise over at The Sundries Shack sums it up best:
The larger point is that it ought to insult the hell out of every Americans that Mike Rogers thinks us no better than the typical riot-prone Muslim in the Middle East, even though he has ample evidence this is not the case. How little must he think of you and I (and Muslims in general, but that’s another story) that he believes we have the same limits of self-control as people who murder innocents because some guy in Denmark drew a picture of Mohammed?
You know, I don’t care to find out. I don’t want to hear an apology from him. I just want him gone. He’s disgraced his nation, Congress, and the Republican Party. I can no longer trust him and neither should anyone else. Speaker Boehner…it’s on you now.
Exactly. How dare he? He is likely parroting President Obama’s reasoning which is still no excuse. Do not want. Grow a pair, will you? As Bise also points out, this genius is ignorant of even the most recent history. We have seen how Americans would react. See, contrary to Rogers’ beliefs, we are not intelligence-deficient nor are we barbaric animals.
The disdain in which the Washington elite holds average Americans is disgusting. And the esteem in which they hold multi-culturalism and moral relativism is now beyond just horrifying – it is dangerous. It’s the same page from Mayor Bloomberg’s book and Senators Reid and Graham’s book.
Mayor Bloomberg fretted more about “backlash” against Muslims than actual car bombs being set in Times Square. To him, we pesky hicks are so ignorant that we might take to the streets randomly assaulting people! Senators Reid and Graham blamed Terry Jones for riots that killed innocents; riots perpetrated by and only by Muslims. They went so far as to suggest that our Freedom of Speech be quashed lest we “trigger” more violence. By speaking. We are too irresponsible to have such rights. Now, we are too irresponsible and stupid to be given information.
You know what’s risky, Mr. Rogers? Evil barbarians. And the wilful ignorance on the part of our alleged leaders. Attempting to quash our our freedom of speech by having members of the American government condemn the exercise thereof does nothing to protect our troops or our country. Neither does withholding information from us by creating a disgusting rationale in which we are equated with barbarians.
In fact, it spits on the very freedoms for which our troops fight, and die.
This delusional moral equivalency is revolting and must end. The only risk, Mr. Rogers, is if it does not.
From her cuckoo pants facebook page:
I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you’re stupid. Just think to yourself–they paraded Saddam’s dead sons around to prove they were dead–why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent–just put your flags away and THINK!
Monday at 12:39pm
Um. Perhaps she needs to put away the bong. To be fair, she probably doesn’t believe that Bin Laden ever even existed. Because, Bush!!!11111
Perhaps she’ll pull one of her usual bewildered moves and go protest — at Dick Cheney’s house. Either she is so confused and doesn’t know the members of the current administration or she is totally trying to get President Obama’s attention by making him jealous.
Sadly, she doesn’t realize that the Left tosses those they no longer need and who no longer serve their purposes to the side.
She is no longer a useful idiot. Just a plain old idiot.
h/t Matt Cover
The title quote comes from genital historian Tony Perrottet, author of Napoleon’s Privates.
Here’s the long and the short of it (but mostly the short):
It seems that Napoleon’s doctor removed his penis during the autopsy, and then gave it to a priest, Vignali, who then smuggled it to Corsica. Wisely recognizing the value of such an objet, the priest’s family passed it along until 1916, when a British collector got a hold of it, along with other pieces in the so-called “Vignali Collection.”
We might say that Napoleon’s penis was under-appreciated. Having only been displayed once (New York, 1927), it was ultimately mocked for its small size and referred to by curious spectators as a small piece of leather or a shriveled eel. The penis was gradually separated from other artifacts in the Collection, leaving it to fend for itself. One of my favorite incidents occurred in 1969, in which London’s famed auction house, Christie’s, failed to make the sale, thus inspiring one newspaper to write, “Not tonight, Josephine!”
In 1977, the penis found itself on the auction block once again, where it was eagerly snatched up by America’s leading urologist, Dr. John Lattimer. Lattimer, a resident of New Jersey, was appalled by the mockery surrounding the object. Determined to see it removed from circulation, he kept it from public scrutiny by hiding it in his home, thus elevating it to a position of respect and giving it the proper esteem that it so clearly deserved.
The tiny keepsake now sits in an attic in Englewood, New Jersey. Fist pump, anyone? Anyone?
Perrottet captured his visit to the Englewood attic on video, but Dr. Lattimer’s daughter wouldn’t allow him to film Napoleon’s shame. We do get a description though:
The object of all my dreams…Wow! It’s heavier than I thought…I guess that’s what happens to flesh, I guess none of us are gonna look too good after 185 years.
News you can use: America’s pornstars have weighed in on the assassination of Osama bin Laden (via Twitter, of course).
Some of them are happy:
- Lexi Belle: “RT @acenlv to celebrate Osama death I joined @OMGitsLexi site. Dont pay for porn & the terrorists win!!!<–you win baby! Thank you”
- Alana Evans: “This is just like when the wicked witch of the east was killed and all the munchins celebrated! DING DONG OSAMAS DEAD!”
- Diamond Foxxx: “Hand shake to all armed forces who went after bin laden. As a team, the USA killed the bastard. Congratulations!”
And at least one is really happy:
- Alison Tyler: “Alright whoever killed Osama is getting a [something we can't print at NewsReal]!!”
Read the uncensored version of that tweet and others at BlackBook.
h/t The Awl