Trump on Gay Marriage: “It’s like in golf … a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive.”
I’m not sure what I can say about this without getting too bawdy (even by my standards), so I’ll just limit myself to quoting Donald Trump on his opposition to gay marriage. Make of it what you will:
“It’s like in golf,” he said. “A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive,” said Mr. Trump, a Republican. “It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
So, Trump thinks it’s high time the gay community stopped shoving their “really long putters” down our throats. Oops.
Instead, the editors of Feministing handed their coverage of of the assassination over to Falguni Sheth, a Hampshire College professor who denounced “the smug victory message by Obama,” his “extreme” and “racist” war, and “the Democrats’ horrific descent into Republicanism.”
The assassination of Osama Bin Laden doesn’t signal a victory for Americans but rather a resounding alarm about the surreal state of affairs in which we Americans have landed, with President Obama at the helm, leading the charge to assassinate Americans and foreigners alike, and vicious beatings of all others who express dissent and stand in the way of the United States Government. We must finally set our sights on neither the Democrats nor the Republicans, but instead put our faith for hope and change in a third party who will kick these vicious xenophobic, racist, brutal plutocrats out of office, and send their banker and insurance friends packing as well. Shame, President Obama, on you and all your “Democratic” colleagues.
Here’s where we agree. I’m all for the far Left spinning off into their own third party. Godspeed.
But who’s the real racist in this case, Falguni? The president who ordered the just and necessary assassination of a terrorist or a feminist professor who wishes bin Laden was still alive, still terrorizing both Arab Muslims and the Westerners who fight for their freedom and ours? Maybe the real racist is you, Falguni, a woman who couldn’t resist a bit of thinly veiled anti-Semitism in her incoherent rant against Obama.
Go ahead, Obama has effectively told his troops in the Senate and the House: Keep going, dear friends Harry Reid AND John Boehner, continue the war on the uninsured, the homeless, the mortgage-foreclosed, Latino migrants, Muslim migrants, GLBT folks, sexually active women. It’s OK, we can keep siding with the bankers without consequence.
And there it is. Obama sided with “the bankers,” aka The Jews, and for that he must pay. Subtle.
Slither back into your gutter, you disgusting anti-Semitic cretin.
When Americans celebrate the death of bin Laden, are we giving into the same bloodthirsty impulse that motivates Muslim terrorists? Damn straight, says holier-than-thou scold David Sirota:
[I]n the years since 9/11, we have begun vaguely mimicking those we say we despise, sometimes celebrating bloodshed against those we see as Bad Guys just as vigorously as our enemies celebrate bloodshed against innocent Americans they (wrongly) deem as Bad Guys. Indeed, an America that once carefully refrained from flaunting gruesome pictures of our victims for fear of engaging in ugly death euphoria now ogles pictures of Uday and Qusay’s corpses, rejoices over images of Saddam Hussein’s hanging and throws a party at news that bin Laden was shot in the head.
This is bin Laden’s lamentable victory: He has changed America’s psyche from one that saw violence as a regrettable-if-sometimes-necessary act into one that finds orgasmic euphoria in news of bloodshed. In other words, he’s helped drag us down into his sick nihilism by making us like too many other bellicose societies in history — the ones that aggressively cheer on killing, as long as it is the Bad Guy that is being killed.
According to Sirota’s Guide to Terrorist Killin’ Etiquette, the appropriate response to bin Laden’s death is “muted relief” but also “sadness.”
When we lose the sadness part — when all we do is happily scream “USA! USA! USA!” at news of yet more killing in a now unending back-and-forth war — it’s a sign we may be inadvertently letting the monsters win.
Right. Because cheering the demise of a sub-human responsible for the death of thousands — including two people I knew and whose remains were never found — is the moral equivalent of bin Laden’s “sick nihilism.” David Sirota, you’re a depraved cretin.
I have some thoughts on the proper etiquette for responding to smug, self-adulatory, “better than you” drivel like this:
Suck it, Sirota.
If I could have pulled the trigger myself, I would have done it in a heartbeat, and I wouldn’t have paused to wipe the blood spray from my face before marking the occasion with a prolonged Jersey fist pump. My only lament is that science isn’t advanced enough to facilitate corpse reanimation so every American who has sacrificed for the War on Terror could delight in the fear in Osama bin Laden’s eyes while blasting a round or two into his body.
Ten years of American prayers have been answered and the jubilation is pretty freakin’ awesome.
America! F*ck yeah!
I wish I had thought of this first. Dammit.
A controversial url shortening service vb.ly got their domain seized by Libyan authorities because it violated the nations Sharia Laws. The Site owners speculate that the future might be uncertain for short-named sites relying solely on the .ly domain and made the claim that the domain was seized for economical reasons rather than that the content was in conlict with the naitons sharia laws.
h/t Jesse Hathaway
Workers in the sideshow and carnival industry were appalled by President Obama’s callous and insensitive remarks Wednesday. Addressing the birth certificate issue, Obama said:
We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.
“I am extremely upset by the reference,” said Frank Zaitshik, who runs Wade Shows, a carnival business with over 100 amusement rides and attractions that entertains over 15 million people each year.
Zaitshik, a second generation carnival worker — a term he prefers to the word “carny,” which is used as a pejorative — has spent much of his life battling negative stereotypes about his industry.
“I think what Obama said is the same type of stereotype that has been placed on African Americans.” Zaitshik said. “You wouldn’t expect those comments from someone who is a minority and has faced prejudice.”
Was President Obama unaware of the solidarity between carnies and the black community or did he choose to thumb his nose at the prejudice and oppression faced by a fellow minority group? Only the mole people know for sure.
Either way, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the GOP to capture the crucial Bearded Lady vote. Let’s get to work, people.
It seems that geezers are ahead of the curve for increased rates of syphilis and chlamydia. From the LA Times:
In the five years from 2005 to 2009, the number of reported cases of syphilis and chlamydia among those 55 and older increased 43 percent, according to an Orlando Sentinel analysis of data provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
In Central Florida, the rise is even more dramatic. Among those 55 and older, the reported cases of syphilis and chlamydia increased 71 percent in that same five-year period. That puts Central Florida ahead of the state, which saw a 62 percent rise in those two sexually transmitted infections among the same age group.
Oh dear. My mind’s eye is cowering. The Villages really is one of America’s “friendliest” home towns. Friendliest with benefits, evidently.
One of the reasons for the slatternly ways of our elderly?
“The flower children who were in their 20s back in the 1960s are now in their 70s,” said Salagubang. “They’re the make-love-not-war generation, and old habits die hard.”
AHA! We really can blame the darn hippies for nearly everything! Medicare and Medicaid are now discussing covering screenings for STDs for these aging – and aged – hippies.
So now if you punch a hippie, as we are all wont to do, it is actually a public service. You may just prevent him from passing along chlamydia. And it’s fiscally responsible, too, now that STD screenings may be covered. Not to mention the cost of all that Valtrex!
Six hours in the dentist’s chair to have portraits of Prince William and Kate Middleton tattooed on your front teeth: £1,000.
Getting mocked by bloggers for your stalkeresque obsession with the royal couple: priceless.
Small World reports:
The temporary artwork – known as ‘gnasher tats’ – will last for up to three months and can only be removed by ”several long, hard brushes”.
Bachelor Baz, who lives in Bristol, said: ”I love the Royal Family and this was my way of lending my support to their Big Day.”
When I was a librarian, we spent an absurd amount of time dealing with the “sticky keyboard problem,” not to mention the human emitters of said stickiness and the terabytes of digital stickiness they left behind. We ordered Purell in bulk.
But blocking access to porn was never an option–the American Library Association considers it an infringement of First Amendment rights to let Chester McPervy know that the Internet station in view of the reference desk isn’t his not-so-private peep show booth. When Chester was pulling up girl-girl-guy threesomes during his searches for guy-guy-girl threesomes, it was our job to help him refine his search. And afterward when he got to work whipping up a batch of his own special sauce, we did our best to ignore him.
I would object to this and would not be able to forever hold my peace. Which would be super awkward and all during the ceremony, especially as I am a mere commoner:
Prince William ‘bans beer from royal wedding’
Prince William and Kate Middleton have reportedly banned the consumption of beer at their wedding reception.
Guests will be served champagne and wine after beer was deemed to be unsuitable for such a prestigious occasion, The Mirror reports.
A source said: “There won’t be any beer. Let’s face it, it isn’t really an appropriate drink to be serving in the Queen’s presence at such an occasion. It was always their intention to give their guests a sophisticated experience and they have chosen the food and drink with this in mind.”
Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Who needs them and their fancy pants soiree? They will probably call it a soiree, too, in order to be even more frou-frou and haughty. Worse, they are going to be all “sober” and stuff.
The pair have apparently agreed to stay sober throughout the celebrations in order to savour their special day.
What a waste of an excuse to get wasted. Snooze-ville. I’ll perhaps point and snicker at the festivities, as I’m sure I won’t be able to escape the ubiquitous coverage. But, it will be from my couch.
With a good old beer in hand. American beer. So there, fancy pants Royals!
That whole “innocent until proven guilty” thing? Yeah, never mind:
Via The Smoking Gun:
The “Alleged” Is Probably Not Necessary When Describing This Indiana Paint Huffer
For the 48th time since 1992, the Indiana man has been arrested for inhaling paint fumes. Gibson’s latest huffing collar came when his wife summoned cops to the couple’s Fort Wayne home shortly after midnight on April 14.
Dude. 48 times? Who’s picking up his bail tabs all the time? I hope Krylon at least does that much, what with all the business this dude has given them.
But, yeah, no alleged is needed when the entire bottom half of your face is silver metallic. Justice may be blind, but it certainly isn’t that blind.
Whether you’re pro-life or pro-choice, Christian or not, calling the work done by Planned Parenthood “sacred”–on Good Friday, no less–is gut-churningly obscene. Or at least it should be.
On Friday, a pro-life demonstrator snapped this shot of a “Planning for Parenthood is Sacred Work” banner draped over the entrance to a Virginia Beach Planned Parenthood facility:
Not surprising from an organization that considers concealing child sexual abuse from authorities more “sacred” than parental rights and lying to women about fetal development more “sacred” than trusting women with the truth.
Update: Alexa Shrugged reminds us that this is hardly the first time the word “sacred” has been put to bizarre use by Planned Parenthood advocates. In 2008, clergy blessed a Schenectady, NY Planned Parenthood clinic in a ceremony dubbed “On Sacred Ground.”
He’s got a Nobel Peace Prize, so why not add “Best Dressed” to his collection of participation trophies?
This week Le Figaro Madame put together a list of the 20 best dressed men in the world, and President Mom Jeans made the cut:
The write-up gushes about his sex appeal.
Did I mention we’re talking about this guy?
Also on the list? Accused rapist and supposed “fashion icon” Julian Assange:
They say that every picture tells a thousand stories. This one speaks for 50 million souls. I saw this and swiftly burst into tears:
(copyrighted cartoon, please click the link to view it)
No words from me; the image speaks them all.